This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
