Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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