tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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