My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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