Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
