I want to make a zoo with you.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
