So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
