For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
