Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
