Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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