woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
This is my gift to your gina
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
