That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
