How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
