New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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