I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
