Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
There r osticjed everywhere
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
