if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
