How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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