pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
