There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
