I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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