Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
