no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
