So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
