**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
