I wanna passion pit in your ass
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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