Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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