remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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