I'm jealous of your bromance
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I wear drunk well.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
