I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
This house was built for laser tag.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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