dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
