We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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