the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
