I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
PANTIES FOUND
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