suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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