I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
