but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
My boob is missing a layer of skin
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize