i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
