they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
