He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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