last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
