Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
