He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
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