I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
