Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
her vagine was all disorganized.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
