conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
