This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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