the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
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