What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
