those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
