I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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