you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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