1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
