I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
you had me at cake vodka
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
