i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
The beer is more important than you right now.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
