i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
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