Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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