She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
