well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
