I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
