some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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