He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
